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We may never know why

on July 9, 2013

Nothing is certain in life. Even with all the technology and modern science, we cannot predict everything. Try as we may, there is a risk even with every breath we take. Bad things happen despite all plans. Mistakes and trauma occurs no matter how many precaution and preventive actions have been taken. Life happens. It will always happen, whether we like it or not.

Out of crisis, mistakes, and unexpected turns of events we can find positives if we look deep within ourselves. Painful as it maybe at times there is a lesson learned or an altered path to be taken. Life moves on. We cannot stop it.

Have I handled my situations correctly? No. Have I learned every lesson from the unplanned and tragic events? No. Am I still dealing with my past? Yes. I still have fears. Still have regrets. Still have moments I would love to have a delete button or a rewind/redo chance. Don’t we all?

Life is not about me, it is about others. It is about moving past my issues to empower others. Why? Because in helping others I learn more about myself. I find my inner strengths I did not realize I had. I gain a better understanding when I must explain things to another. I grow in the areas of compassion when I help someone on their journey.

The next time life throws you a curve, step back and take a different perspective. We may never know why it happen but we might be able to learn how to change course to pursue another path on our journey.

My world centered around working with children with special needs. When I found out my child had challenges I experienced what I later realized were the stages of grief. Not something we think will ever happen to us. I did everything right so I thought. But, life happens. Then, I stepped back for a moment. For years I had been helping others who had children with challenges. The lesson was, why not me? I had the training and the knowledge to give this baby more of a chance than most I knew. So, why not me? She became my project. Many a day I wanted to give up because it is not an easy task. Often I wondered if we would ever reach certain milestones. It was so easy with her brother but with her, every moment was an adventure. Did you notice I didn’t say challenge? I reworked my vocabulary to reflect a positive. An adventure is a journey into the unknown, not doubt every day was exactly that at times. Instead of learning disabilities we called them brain farts. Hey, it made her giggle and others around her when she would refer to such a moment of misunderstanding as a brain fart. Life was a series of learning opportunities fill with music, art, dance, and a variety of creative teaching modes.

This week I reflect back on what I was told so many years ago. This young lady who will turn 21 in a few days wasn’t suppose to graduate from high school. She wasn’t to get her driver’s license or be able to hold a job because of her reading level. What she did do, with a positive attitude, and some creative intervention adventures was become a member of the Honor Society, win many awards for her acting ability, and earn an academic as well as a theater scholarship to a private college. She is a self-advocate who has a keen sense of self-empowerment to discuss her situations with professors and others. She now encourages her friends by sharing her own creative learning techniques. She plans to become a counselor to help girls like herself to become empowered and not fall to the negatives so many dwell on.

Well, I may never know why she had the issues she does but what I do know is the she taught me more about determination, challenged every creative inch of my being to find alternatives outside of the standard, and most of all, to never give up especially when my brain farts. ; )


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