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Do You Hear What I Hear?

on December 11, 2015

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

“Well, life isn’t fair, get over it.”

“You should feel lucky…”broken-Christmas-tree-ornament1

“Let’s stick to the facts.”

“You’ve got it all wrong.”

“I never said that.”

“You can’t do anything right.”

“Can’t take a joke, can you.”

“You owe me.”

“What did I ever see in you?”

“You will never amount to anything.”

“You just want all the attention.”

 

Fatso, lazy, good for nothing, stupid, idiot, worthless, loser, dummy, ugly….

Do you hear what I hear? Are these phrases and words heard everyday in your life? Is someone who is supposed to love you use these words daily?

We might have used one of these phrases a time or two in our lives when we were angry or upset. It happens. Abusers and narcissists use them daily and repeatedly against those they abuse and try to control. These phrases and words over time become like strikes against the mind and heart of the one being abused. These words are absorbed, cataloged and filed into the memory of the abused to be replayed over and over. The abuser tries to demean, insult, criticize, break down, pick apart, by use words instead of physical means to destroy any means of self-worth and self-esteem their victim has. The abused then also becomes their own worst nightmare with the replaying of these insults anytime they attempt to do something. Abusers want to make sure the abused does not stand up for him or herself. The abuser wants the abused to believe he or she is the true problem. The abuser wants to control as well as be worshiped.

The abuser wants the abused to beg for their love. They want the abused to be so controlled the abused thinks of nothing but the abuser, as in how to please, how to honor and cherish to prevent from hearing such hurtful words. The abuser wants to control all thoughts so the abused will only trust the abuser.  The abuser may show love and compassion from time to time, they will make it conditional in such a way the abused feel he or she must earn the love.

Emotional abusers do not leave bruises, they leave deep scars. A victim may only reach out for help once. Please listen and respond.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, “do you hear what I hear, ringing through the sky, shepherd boy, do you hear what I hear?”

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. Please catch the wave next week for more information.

 

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