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Do You Know What I Know?

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. I have been asked why I chose to feature this and my reason for doing so this particular month. There are many reasons, both personal and business wise. I found during the holidays often folks show their best side but will quickly in the shadows turn and unleash upon victims. It is difficult for emotional abusers, narcissists, and bully types to maintain their “charming” disposition during the holidays without a means of releasing their torment to regain their balance. Also, I wanted people to start a new year with new awareness in hopes to start identifying and getting help for family and friends who might be victims. Abusers need to be identified as well so they, too, can seek help.

Do you know what I know? Well, I do know some ways you can stop the chaos in your head from being a victim of emotional abuse. First though, please seek professional help from a counselor or a life coach. The process towards healing can move faster with professional help.

When the inner voices of your tormentor/abuser play in your head, take a moment to rethink. You are now aware that the things they said to you were to control you and to take your inner power away from you. You know you are not those terrible things. Rewrite the words into a positive. “You are so ugly, no one will ever marry you,” to “I am beautiful both inside and out with a heart full of love and compassion. I will find the person of my dreams someday.” The power of positive thinking is magical.

You did not ask to be abused. This person came into your life by no fault of your own. Now you can chose to move on and consider this a learning experience on how to recognize the words which cause pain. We cannot chose our parents, coworkers, bosses, and family members. Sometimes our friends and significant others change after they have gained our trust. It is okay to walk away. Hard it maybe, but necessary to gain your life and health  back. Change your path’s course. Be brave and take a hike to freedom. 

After you dismiss the abusers from your life, I know it is hard, set boundaries. They will try to win you back over. DO NOT FALL FOR THEIR CHARMING WAYS! You do not need to travel back down their path, rarely do they change.

It’s YOU time!! Rediscover old hobbies. Take time to rediscover you. Emotional abusers instill fear as a means of control. Go out and face your fears, try something new. Healing comes the more time you focus on rebuilding your self esteem and empower yourself. Trying new things! Let out old emotions and illogical fears embedded in your mind by the abuser via the arts. Dance out your anger! Paint out your frustrations! Write a poem about the empowered you. Write a book. Sing songs of happiness and write some about your sadness. Hey, you may have a hit in the making. Country music is full of them. And, Taylor Swift has made a fortunate each time she breaks up with a guy. You just never know so give it a try.

The most important thing is to move forward. Leave the abuser behind you. If you struggle with leaving, get help. Don’t walk on eggs shells any longer. Chose to run in grassy fields free from the torment. Look for local hotlines to call if you need help. Ask friends and other family members to help out. Tell your doctor. Seek help.

If you know someone who is being abused emotional and verbally, please step in to help.

This is part three in a four part series on Emotional Abuse Awareness, the Silent Killer of souls.

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Do You See What I See?

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. I feel many are not well-educated in identifying and finding help. The song, “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” spoke to me as a good theme for the series. In the first part of the lyrics, “Said the night wind to the little lamb, do you see what I see?,” triggered within me, do we really see the outward signs of emotional abuse?

Physical abuse and neglect often have very visual signs which make them easier to report and recognize. Emotional abuse is not so easy to see the signs and symptoms plus victims learn to hide them. According to some studies, emotional abuse is more harmful than physical abuse. Physical abuse is not a daily event like emotional abuse. Belittling, bullying, shaming, intimidation, threatening, as well as constant criticism can cause outward behavior changes in those suffering from emotional abuse, both now or in their past.

Behavioral signs which send up red flags that someone has been abused:

Depression

Anxiety

Post Traumatic Disorder

Drastic behavior changes from outgoing to being quiet, withdrawn and shy

In some cases, victims will have a drastic shift to abusing others.

In children you might see these outward signs:

Lack of emotional attachment

Low cognitive or educational ability

Poor social skills

Depression

Trust issues

 

Doubt and fear move in. A victim often apologizes for everything because the emotional abuse has made the person feel as if they can do nothing right. Stripping a person of their pride and self-worth causes significant damage to their ego and ability to function in society. Victims often fall prey to other emotional abusers due to their behavior. Abusers seek out others which they can control and manipulate which causes people who have been past victims to often be re-victimized. Often victims become “super pleasers” to reduce the emotional pain abusers cause. This sets them up once again to fall prey to those who seek out pleasers to empower them and abuse their helpful nature.

Look around your office, classroom, Sunday School class, or among family and friends.  Has someone’s behavior changed? Do you see a significant other overpowering or constantly talking down to their partner or child? Do you see someone shying away from social contact where before they might have been the “life of the party?” It might feel awkward but approach someone you might suspect is being abused to offer help or at least acknowledge you are seeing some signs the person is in distress. The person will most likely deny or offer up an excuse but please know, you have planted a mental seed of awareness that others are noticing. Sometimes it is just as simple as someone asking if you are okay which causes more thoughts of getting help in the future. Be that one who changes a life. Caring matters.

Just a side note in regard to current events happening in

whispers in the wind collage2015:

With all the horrible events of late, I wonder how many of the violent people creating these acts were emotionally or physically abused as children or in relationships? Does their rage stem from past horrors done to them? If someone, anyone… a teacher, friend, coach, or even a family doctor noticed and said something to stop the abuse, would they have committed the acts we are seeing now, happen?  Can a random act of kindness or concern change the future of a killer? Not sure we could actually track the results but I feel sure one act can change a person. I would like to be that one who stopped someone from becoming a monster because they endured torment to create the hate and need to do such horrible acts. As a teacher, I have seen lives turned around due to someone confronting and helping a child seek help. Turn fear into compassion, do not allow it to continue to fester and grown into hatred and violence.

Next week, “Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, do you hear what I hear?” What does emotional abuse sound like? Check back in next week to find out the answer.

 

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The Silent Killer

The month of December will focus on understanding and identifying emotional abuse. Many suicides and preventable health issues are manifested from people being abused. I see everyday, people who struggle with ADHD/ADD and/or dyslexia, being victims of emotional abuse.  Such challenges seem to be magnets for emotional abusers. I am not certain why but there is definitely a trend, or at least in my neck of the woods.

Some of the ways abusers use are guilt trips, shaming, and bullying. The main focus is to belittle and strip the abused of their empowerment and self worth. Many dyslexics and ADHD/ADD sorts are pleasers. They enjoy helping others out and keeping a balance in the world. This also keeps balance in their world of chaos. Emotional abusers take advantage of the opportunity for their own personal follies and gain.

Each week I will hopefully enlighten you on emotional abuse. Hopefully, you are not a victim. If so, I hope to offer information on how to get help. If you know of an emotional abuser, my wish is that you will learn ways to avoid being a victim as well as ways to rise above. Over the years I have witnessed many talented and brilliant people who’s spirit and self worth were devalued and crushed due to emotional abuse. Some took their relief seeking to an extreme while others are almost nonfunctional. This is preventable. We need to educate ourselves on recognizing and preventing this silent killer.

It just takes one person to stand up and fight. It takes just one person to save a life. Every life is valuable, none should suffer in silence. Be that one voice to speak out. Be that survivor. Be the one to come to someone’s rescue. Make a difference.

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Bullying promoted by Cutthroat Kitchen

Soap box warning!

It is a known fact I am not a fan of reality TV. Being a teacher and mother  of 2 young adults, I have seen the negative effects of such programs on the outlook and behavior of children who have grown up watching them. Children born in the late 80’s and early 90’s were raised on reality TV.  Despite all my parenting skills and lectures as a teacher, celebrities and TV shows still have a higher impact on children’s perception of acceptable behavior in the world. Reality shows are based upon putting others down, bullying, sabotage, rudeness, and countless other inappropriate behavior. Yes, I know, such antics sell and bring masses of money to these shows and advertisers. They also bring on behaviors  which cause great social problems and violence.

There was one area of Reality TV which seemed immune to the negative behaviors, cooking shows. Yes, there are time limits and surprise last-minute ingredients but over all, these shows were wholesome and fun to watch. But, then came Cutthroat Kitchen.  I’m a Georgia girl so of course I am a huge fan of Alton Brown. I love his practical creative twists on cooking. But, Cutthroat Kitchen totally blew me away.  I watched as contestants bought their wins by sabotaging others. On the flip side, I saw others overcoming adversity despite the odds. I mean really, who can make pancakes or was it muffins, without a bowl? There are some MacGyver moments happening in the kitchen there. WHY? WHY? Must the last of the wholesome reality shows move into the dark world of bullying? Why do people love watching folks plot evil plans to try to secure a win? ALTON, WHY DID YOU STOOP TO SUCH?

What shows like Cutthroat Kitchen are teaching kids and young adults is that money can buy you wins and fame. Not always but it can really put a dent in your competition. This transfers in to the watchers reality. So a kid is in a school competition, he/she has the means to sabotage another competitor to win, why not? He/she sees it happen on the Bachelor, Survivor, and plenty of other shows. A child raised in the best of situations can and often still is  influenced by TV can impact decisions above most other influences. I see it daily. I also see it in the workplace.

Alton, I am disappointed. I know it is all about ratings and in some way teaching others to be creative but I am still disappointed. My greater disappointment is how our lives have been impacted by the sudden draw to negative behaviors being glorified on TV. What happened to promoting the positive and the good?

We all know TV is rarely monitored by parents. Youngsters the age of 4 are watching shows like the Kardashians, and Orange is the New Black. They are learning to laugh at others pain and misfortune on Tosh O., Rob & Big, and Jackass. They are also trying to recreate such stunts resulting in severe injuries or worse. They are also picking up the rude and very inappropriate behaviors at a very young age resulting in serious consequences.

The lyrics, “Children will Listen,” from Into the Woods, the Broadway Play and movie, could not say it any better.

Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say “Listen to me”
Children will listen
Read more: Into The Woods – Children Will Listen Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Sometimes it just has to be said.

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Scooby Doo, where are you?

Where did he, Bugs and a few other great cartoon characters go? I sure miss the cartoon friends I grew up with. I have tried to watch the latest cartoon sorts but none bring the giggles and belly laughs I got from those from the 1960’s and 1970’s. I remember laughing a lot on Saturday mornings when I woke early just to catch the cartoon runs because they all disappeared shortly after lunch time. I want those days back.

You know, there is nothing wrong with adults watching cartoons. There is comfort in revisiting those TV friends who taught us more than we thought at the moment. Also they brought is comic relief. You know laughter is the best medicine. I truly believe that is true. In fact, I suggest to my Life Coaching clients they revisit their favorite cartoons. Yes, they might be a bit cheesy now but overall, they still make us laugh.

Life today is full of stressors. Take a few minutes when you are down or stressed beyond belief to youtube or Netflix or whatever means you have access to for some laughs. I promise it will change your outlook a bit.

Eeeeeeh, watch me paste that pathetic palooka with a powerful, pachydermous, percussion pitch. – Bugs Bunny

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Warning, suicide is contagious

Yes, it is true. Scary thought but I have personally witnessed this in a residential school. One student attempts suicide and then there is an outbreak of attempts. Check the research, plenty out there but few speak of it. Yes, suicide is contagious.

Robin Williams’ suicide has brought on massive media attention. From a television special to constant flows on Facebook and Twitter, the suicide theme cannot be escaped. A few will seek out the attention factor. Some will identify with the torment experienced justifying if it worked for such a famous person then it must be my solution as well. Some… well, it is an endless list of reasons why this event might lead to others in a copy cat situation.

If you know someone who is depressed or is dealing with a crisis and their behavior has changed, don’t wait, react. The behavior change might seem to be a positive swing from the usual down mood. People, that can be a warning sign. Sometimes if suicide is well planned the person will have a false state of comfort. Often they will exhibit overly nice behaviors such as giving treasured things away, calling to mend relationships, or send letters. Then again, others might become very withdrawn and isolate themselves. It is different for everyone.

Depression is not extreme sadness. Depression is an altered state of irrational thinking based upon perceived ideas or extreme torment which is constantly replaying in the person’s mind. This is one of the reasons I stand up for extreme bullying. Bullying can bring on depression. I read a good humorous explanation. ‘Depression cannot be cured by chocolate or a pint of ice cream like sadness can.’ Very true! Do not try to understand another’s depression. It is deep-rooted based upon experiences you may not be aware of. Also, depression can be physically painful. It affects the body at times. If you have constant pain, relief is your primary focus. Some think there is only one way to relieve it. The pain is so intense the thoughts of how the decision to stop it becomes stronger than the reality of how it will affect others. Yes, it is a self-inflicted selfish act but in the mind of the tormented personal relief is all-consuming.

Limit media exposure during a celebrity suicide media frenzy. Keep the positive flowing. If you know someone suffering from depression, keep tabs on them. Visit, call, and try to keep a positive dialogue flowing. Let them know you are available to talk or just hang out. Help prevent a copy cat moment. Extra time spent now might prevent a loss of life later and stop the cycle of others thinking about this ultimate escape.

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Deadly Reaction

Pollen from a variety of common plants: sunflo...

Pollen from a variety of common plants: sunflower (Helianthus annuus), morning glory Ipomoea purpurea, hollyhock (Sildalcea malviflora), lily (Lilium auratum), primrose (Oenothera fruticosa) and castor bean (Ricinus communis). The image is magnified some x500, so the bean shaped grain in the bottom left corner is about 50 μm long. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sad story hitting the news today about a young girl who died from a bite of Rice Krispy Treats which was made with peanut butter. She was highly allergic to peanuts. Though she spit it out the toxin had already worked its way into her system. She went in to shock and died. We are hearing more and more about severe allergic reaction yet people still doubt the validity of them.

For years I have suffered from extreme allergies. Mine are more environmental in nature often not known until I am exposed to a chemical or something like large qualities of  mold. There were bullies in the workplace who enjoy “testing” my allergic reactions. I was made fun of when I reacted. It was embarrassing and I had large medical bills as a result of their amusement. I did report but when you work for the government in some places it isn’t taken too seriously until it is almost too late. My health will never be the same because of the abuse I suffered via the exposure due to the bullies in the workplace. Nothing much I can do because if you speak with legal folks, allergies and mold exposure, even with documentation, is difficult to fight in court unless you die from an exposure.

I do not know the details of rescue procedures for the little girl. Never without my Epi Pen now. Often when in a strange place I will tell someone who is not familiar with me I have a pen and where it is. I  wear a bracelet letting people know if I do go down due to a reaction I have a pen and other important information. When it got life threatening I began to take it very seriously. When the establishment would not hold people accountable for harassment and exposure I realized my life was endangered. It was up to me to make sure I was always ready. In my 40’s it meant a bit more to me than when I was in my teens and 20’s. Guess we think we can live forever when we are so young we are often careless. Know many children and teens over the years who refused to carry an Epi pen. It was difficult to find one near when things happened such as a bee sting. Over the years I have preached awareness and being proactive in regard to allergies.

I am highly allergic to an odorless substance, It is commonly used in every household and business. I get very little warning before reactions start. Sometimes my inhaler is enough other times it progresses to an emergency run to the hospital. People often tell me, if you cannot smell it you cannot be allergic to it. SO WRONG! It kills insects so why would you think it might not have the power to kill a person? Someone did spray my car for reasons I will not go into now. You do not understand fear until the moment you realize you are driving and an allergic reaction starts. Then, you realize someone had to have done this to you all-knowing it could kill you. A weapon few think about and one most medical people would not think to note as a cause unless the person survived to say it had happened on a smaller scale before. Like a simple Rice Krispy Treat at a party, allergies can be lethal. There was no malicious intent at the party when the little girl happened to bite into a treat. But we should always be alert of the remote possibility it could happen to an older person. We try our best to avoid allergens. I have yet to meet someone who enjoys an Epi stick, rounds of steroids and breathing treatments. Some reactions can cause other issues in the body lasting more than a few days. My reactions go into serious lung problems lasting up to a week with a hospital stay. Allergens can be lethal. The result of an exposure for some cannot be reversed even with an Epi Pen.

You might think it rude but ask guest if they have any known allergies. If you use strong chemicals or cleaning products in your home, make guest aware. Strong perfumes and body sprays can also effect people with allergies. If someone tells you they are allergic to something you are wearing do not get upset with them. Please understand there is a difference in not liking a scent than being allergic to one. You might save a life just by telling what is in the food you prepared or sprayed in the air. Please be considerate of those who might need to leave or move to a different area due to allergies. Again, they are not being rude just trying to save their life.

Allergies are disabling in certain situations. It doesn’t make the person any less of a being. Allergy medications can make a person groggy or a bit light in the head in nature. Do not hold this against them. Without the medication there might not be a tomorrow. Be alert to the needs of others. If you have a friend or family member with allergies, be aggressive in scouting out potential hazards. You might just save a life.

 

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Celebrating Creative Freedom on the Fourth of July

English: The Bill of Rights, the first ten ame...

English: The Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution Česky: Originál Listiny práv, prvních deseti dodatků k Ústavě Spojených států amerických Deutsch: Die Bill of Rights genannten ersten zehn Zusatzartikel zur US-amerikanischen Verfassung, die den Bürgern bestimmte Grundrechte garantieren Español: La Carta de Derechos de los Estados Unidos, el término por el que se conocen las diez primeras enmiendas de la Constitución de los Estados Unidos de América (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Never thought about it this way until a friend mentioned it to me today. We are lucky in the USA to be able to express ourselves in so many creative ways. Our freedoms have afforded us the privilege. Via the arts we can sing, dance, paint, build, cook, and write in ways others cannot due to censorship and regulations.  We should honor the rights so many died so we could express ourselves which is protected by the First Amendment, freedom of speech.

With freedom does come responsibility. We should never abuse the right to express ourselves in a negative or abusive fashion. We should also respect the right of others to express themselves though it might be different from our beliefs and ways. As much as I enjoy Facebook and other means of social media, I find many who abuse the right with an onslaught of bashing and unnecessary over use of foul language. Sometimes such might be appropriate but not every other word. Nor is it ok to slander others in a revengeful or spiteful way. Sadly, so many children are following in the negative path of influential adults. Internet bullying, texting inappropriate pictures, etc. are becoming the norm amongst children as young as 8 years old.

Today, make this Fourth of July a celebration of creative freedom. From this day forward, make a difference by promoting the positive and avoiding the negative. Influence the young in the way our freedom of expression was intended, to encourage and motivate. Confronting wrong can be done without the use of a string of expletives and nasty pictures.

I hope where ever you are you celebrate today with fireworks painting the night skies, an abundance of colorful foods, with laughter and song, and lots of stories of your families journey to celebrate the event. Happy Birthday, America! Let Freedom ring for many more years to come.

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Do not let embarassment control your emotions

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Another CPR for the soul moment.

We all make mistakes.  When we make mistakes we become embarrassed. There are two choices: over react and try to cover or to admit and make amends. Sometimes it is human nature to overreact and belittle the person who caught the mistake. No one likes being blindsided because they were not prepared or informed. But then again, no one should ever go into a situation knowing accountability is the topic and not be ready. No doubt there will be an embarrassing moment to deal with when the facts are on the table. What is worse is to respond by intimidating or shaming the person who was right. Guilt coupled with embarrassment is a deadly combination when a person in power is involved.  Even during the confrontation the guilty party should not become defensive by rattling off excuses and trying to avoid the obvious. Behavior in that way only grows the internal frustration of the guilty. One should never skirt the obvious, just own up to it and move forward as quickly as possible.

So what happens after all the wrong emotions come spewing out? There is still time to make amends though the work will be much harder to correct. Do not continue the cycle of rage from the embarrassment and guilt that grew because you were unprepared. Own up to the situation and not keep fueling a fire. The bigger the fire grows the more likely you are to get burned especially if it was started on your behalf to create a smoke screen. Do whatever it takes to correct the problem. Most importantly, take a moment to step outside of yourself to recap the situation from another point of view. If you were to discover the problem, what would you have done? If children are involved it is without a shadow of doubt emotions will run high. Understand in a position of power, one should understand the emotions coming to the table. It is your duty to listen, consider the options, and then form a plan of action to correct the mistakes or over sites. If it is a situation in regard to others you are supervising, then hold them accountable. You can still stand on their behalf but never should one raise an employee up in a meeting if it is clear they have violated a law or legal procedure. Do not lower your accountability or professionalism based on friendship. A true friend holds all accountable, especially friends and family out of love and respect. Even better, pass the meeting or confrontation on to another supervisor to safe guard your emotions will not be involved. Sometimes we must admit we are too close to the subject or people involved, save yourself from an embarassing situation. It is not a sign of weakness rather a sign of a professional who will pass it on to someone who can be objective.

For the person who was trying to do the right thing by catching the mistake bringing it to the attention of those who could fix it, know you were doing what was right. Often people will over react in hopes you would back down. Also, when embarrassed people will turn on anyone, even their family and friends. Exposing a wrong will cause even the most pleasant sort to shape shift into a person you have never seen before. The emotions will uncover a very insecure and aggressive nature in some. Do not hold it against them but still hold them accountable. It is upsetting when this occurs, just know it will pass but do not allow the person to continue a reign of terror to control you from doing what is right especially in regard to a child or person with needs. Be respectful and never lower yourself to the inappropriate emotions that you might feel.

To parents, teach your child early how to deal with embarrassments and being confronted when wrong. Own up to the mistakes with a positive course of action to make amends. Not everything can be fixed but if it can, chose that route. Never resort to bullying and emotional outbursts as a means of response. On the flip side, teach them to always be ready, check into all avenues before confrontation occurs. It is good to stand by friends and family but if they are wrong, try to get to the root of the issue before it escalates. Keep emotions under wraps until there is a justified reason to express them. Never bully as a response to being wrong. Intense emotions and bullying can cause a negative blow to the soul. It is better to prepare while young to deal with frustrations and owning up to mistakes than it is to correct the onslaught of extreme emotions as an adult.

 

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Taking a stand when friends and family are involved

English: "The Thinker," by Rodin, in...

English: “The Thinker,” by Rodin, in front of the Rodin Museum, Philadelphia, PA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Another CPR for the Soul moment. Over the past several years I have had to take a stand for what I knew was right in battles where friends and family were on the opposing side. Think we all agree when this occurs the frustrations and pain erupt from a place very sensitive within our soul. You want to be supportive of family and friends but deep inside you know their position is wrong. You try many ways to convince them of their errors but nothing can change their minds because in their opinion, which they have a right to have, you are wrong. You may bring research based evidence, data, witnesses, etc. the whole gamet of proof but still they stand firm in their wrongness. Do you risk a family division or a feud with friends?

I ask myself these questions when I must make decisions in regard to opposing friends and family in situations, especially in public forums:

1. If a child is involved, what is in the best interest of the child? If I was not related to or close friends with the opposing party would my decision be different?

2. If I do not take a stand will harm come to those involved?

3. Do I have evidence to support my position? Is the evidence I have based upon the greater good or for selfish reasons?

4. Is the opposition based upon ego? Who is taking a pride knock? Who is not seeing  the situation at hand?

5. Am I willing to risk my reputation and my name to continue this battle to the end all-knowing the opposition will be out to ruin me?

 

If a child is involved and the situation could possibly alter the child’s life in a positive way, then the risk is worth it. Though the situation may have some negative impact for the moment such as a change in living arrangements or moving a child into another classroom, if the outcome is directed towards improving the quality of life, then I will always chose to stand firm. If the outcome is based upon me not liking someone or out of spite, then I need a realty check. Never do something to spite another when children are involved. Too many friends and family members have caused irreversible emotional scars upon their children because they were out to get their ex-spouse or hated a teacher. We need to grow up and look at things with a mature mindset.

If someone is in harm’s way due to the behavior of another no matter if I am related to or good friends of, I will always take a stand to protect. We must consider the acts of harm not only in a physical but also emotional and mental. The scars left from emotional and mental abuse can open years later becoming deadly.

Taking a position based upon hearsay and no evidence is never a wise thing to do. When friends and family are involved, if you do your homework and give documentation, medical facts, reseach-based evidence, or good solid facts I have found often the stand-off or battle dissolves. Sometimes it is a lack of understanding or knowledge which causes the uprise. A wee bit of education and information never hurt.

If ego and pride are involved then sometimes it needs to be addressed. I have witnessed friends and family in high positions protect people they know are in the wrong to protect their own egos. If you or someone you are supporting are wrong, wrong is wrong and a title or position will only make you look ignorant causing others to lose respect in your abilities. A hard lesson I had to learn many years ago. Just best to confirm the problem and focus on solutions instead of excuses to protect the guilty to pull a power move. Never let friends or family cause you to make unwise decisions. Do what you know is right because you must live with the decision.

We have all faced the friends and family members who seek personal vendettas when others do not follow their decisions. It is never a good thing. We wish not to be victims of their frustrations or follies to prove their power. Bullying and fear tactics are often a possibility when you are dealing with extreme cases. It is also a reality you must face. Having been a victim of a life threatening retaliation for turning friends in for extreme injustice and wrong doing, I am often asked if I would do the same thing again knowing what I do now. Yes, I will always stand for what I know is right. This time I would be more cautious afterwards. The reality is I did not choose my friends wisely because I should have never been placed in a situation where I would have to take a stand such as I did. I warned them of the situation I had discovered so it wasn’t like they did not have time to fix it. Where my blog on “Someone knows” came from.

We should never place friends and family in situations were others must make decisions based on wrong or right. We all can work within the “agree to disagree” category which usually doesn’t have situations in regard of evil intentions or illegal doings. We all have a right to our opinions but we do not have a right to cover and hide wrong doings.

CPR for the soul… follow what you know in your heart to be right. Friends and family are important but never so much that you must compromise your personal values and respect. Time heals. Sometimes it is a wiser choice to move on. There are millions more friends to be made. Family… well, we can never chose our family but we can choose to do what is right. In the end it is about the greater good, not who you are related to, a title, money, or popularity.

 

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