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A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

If your life basket spilled out upon the ground, what would it say about your passions and your life? What do you see in this picture? Could you pick out the person from a group by looking at this picture? If you had to create a life picnic moment, what would be in your basket? IMG_0721

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Big Changes

YES! Creative Tidal Wave lives and is taking some might big turns and swirls. I have been raising the bar in life coaching the past few months. Creative Tidal Wave is all about you, bringing creative and life altering techniques from a wide variety of successful sources. As we all know, one size does not fit all. Lots of great new innovative resources from global sources.

I am very excited about adding Points of You to my business. It is unexpected but precise… don’t you just love that? I bring to the table games that will challenge the way you think about everything, including yourself. You know it is good if GOOGLE, INTEL, Cirque, IKEA, and L’Oreal are using it in their business. Some innovative companies are using it as an interview tool as well. Yes, a game can be a tool to explore team building, problem solving, leadership skills… the possibilities are endless. So what kind of game can be used in businesses, life coaching, counseling, schools, and at home? It is a game based up photo therapy with intriguing words, questions, quotes, and stories. You will laugh, ponder, explore, and learn more about yourself and others playing with you. More on the Coaching Game and Punctum in another blog moment.

Due to seeing common trends in clients and disturbing events happening in the US almost weekly, I decided to branch out to provide for veterans, first responders, and government workers who have PTSD and other trauma related challenges. The Green Cross and the Mental Health groups have created Mental Health First Aid. This provides responders to come in and help during crisis, work with people you may know and  suspect have a suicidal risks, and other mental health issues. A First Responder for Mental Health First Aid can refer clients and families to supports and other community groups to help. By September I will be a certified Trauma Professional.

Now for some really great events. I will present a workshop for the 25th  Georgia Mental Health Consumers Conference in St. Simons Island, GA on using photo therapy with clients to encourage communication. Earlier in August, I will present a creative workshop at the Burson Center in Carrollton, GA on stress management. Lots of great things to come as well.

Creative Tidal Wave is a positive forward moving life coaching service. Whatever it takes, it will happen to move you from the deepest oubliette to the dream castle in the sky. Do not let stinking thinking and trauma stop you from living the life you desire. Catch the wave, and ride it to new heights and wonders you dream of. CTW makes life flow.facebook_May_2015f

 

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What are YOU waiting on?

I am a known Nickelback fan. The song, What Are You Waiting For? spoke to me. A good friend sent it to me during a trying time in my life. I find I refer this song to many of my clients and friends. Here are the powerful lyrics:

What are you waiting for?
What are you Waiting for?

Are you waiting on a lightning strike?
Are you waiting for the perfect night?
Are you waiting ’til the time is right?
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you wanna learn to deal with fear?
Don’t you wanna take the wheel and steer?
Don’t you wait another minute here.
What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don’t you be afraid if you fall
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for the right excuse?
Are you waiting for a sign to choose?
While you’re waiting it’s the time you lose.
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you really wanna live your life?
Don’t you wanna love before you die?
What are you waiting for?

….

Everybody’s gonna make mistakes
But everybody’s got a chance to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?

What are you waiting for?

For the complete lyrics, please check various favorite sites and download a copy of this inspiring song. I listen to each morning to inspire me to not drag my feet to get stuff done.  I am in the business of creating and living dreams. Once I found myself in a very dark place unable to believe dreams could come true. Life likes to toss you in dungeons or oubliettesfacebook_july-7 with the false notion we can never find our way out. We find ourselves waiting with thousands of excuses. But why? False realities and excuses leave us in a dark place. Life can change if you ask yourself, what am I waiting on? What am I waiting for? The answer… you are waiting on you to decide to move forward on the path to your dreams. Make them happen, only YOU can. 

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The Star, the Star, shining in the night

starfish story picDecember is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month. Make a difference in 2016. Every life matters. You matter. Get help or seek help for another. Stop the cycle. Make a difference to that ONE!

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Do You Know What I Know?

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. I have been asked why I chose to feature this and my reason for doing so this particular month. There are many reasons, both personal and business wise. I found during the holidays often folks show their best side but will quickly in the shadows turn and unleash upon victims. It is difficult for emotional abusers, narcissists, and bully types to maintain their “charming” disposition during the holidays without a means of releasing their torment to regain their balance. Also, I wanted people to start a new year with new awareness in hopes to start identifying and getting help for family and friends who might be victims. Abusers need to be identified as well so they, too, can seek help.

Do you know what I know? Well, I do know some ways you can stop the chaos in your head from being a victim of emotional abuse. First though, please seek professional help from a counselor or a life coach. The process towards healing can move faster with professional help.

When the inner voices of your tormentor/abuser play in your head, take a moment to rethink. You are now aware that the things they said to you were to control you and to take your inner power away from you. You know you are not those terrible things. Rewrite the words into a positive. “You are so ugly, no one will ever marry you,” to “I am beautiful both inside and out with a heart full of love and compassion. I will find the person of my dreams someday.” The power of positive thinking is magical.

You did not ask to be abused. This person came into your life by no fault of your own. Now you can chose to move on and consider this a learning experience on how to recognize the words which cause pain. We cannot chose our parents, coworkers, bosses, and family members. Sometimes our friends and significant others change after they have gained our trust. It is okay to walk away. Hard it maybe, but necessary to gain your life and health  back. Change your path’s course. Be brave and take a hike to freedom. 

After you dismiss the abusers from your life, I know it is hard, set boundaries. They will try to win you back over. DO NOT FALL FOR THEIR CHARMING WAYS! You do not need to travel back down their path, rarely do they change.

It’s YOU time!! Rediscover old hobbies. Take time to rediscover you. Emotional abusers instill fear as a means of control. Go out and face your fears, try something new. Healing comes the more time you focus on rebuilding your self esteem and empower yourself. Trying new things! Let out old emotions and illogical fears embedded in your mind by the abuser via the arts. Dance out your anger! Paint out your frustrations! Write a poem about the empowered you. Write a book. Sing songs of happiness and write some about your sadness. Hey, you may have a hit in the making. Country music is full of them. And, Taylor Swift has made a fortunate each time she breaks up with a guy. You just never know so give it a try.

The most important thing is to move forward. Leave the abuser behind you. If you struggle with leaving, get help. Don’t walk on eggs shells any longer. Chose to run in grassy fields free from the torment. Look for local hotlines to call if you need help. Ask friends and other family members to help out. Tell your doctor. Seek help.

If you know someone who is being abused emotional and verbally, please step in to help.

This is part three in a four part series on Emotional Abuse Awareness, the Silent Killer of souls.

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

“Well, life isn’t fair, get over it.”

“You should feel lucky…”broken-Christmas-tree-ornament1

“Let’s stick to the facts.”

“You’ve got it all wrong.”

“I never said that.”

“You can’t do anything right.”

“Can’t take a joke, can you.”

“You owe me.”

“What did I ever see in you?”

“You will never amount to anything.”

“You just want all the attention.”

 

Fatso, lazy, good for nothing, stupid, idiot, worthless, loser, dummy, ugly….

Do you hear what I hear? Are these phrases and words heard everyday in your life? Is someone who is supposed to love you use these words daily?

We might have used one of these phrases a time or two in our lives when we were angry or upset. It happens. Abusers and narcissists use them daily and repeatedly against those they abuse and try to control. These phrases and words over time become like strikes against the mind and heart of the one being abused. These words are absorbed, cataloged and filed into the memory of the abused to be replayed over and over. The abuser tries to demean, insult, criticize, break down, pick apart, by use words instead of physical means to destroy any means of self-worth and self-esteem their victim has. The abused then also becomes their own worst nightmare with the replaying of these insults anytime they attempt to do something. Abusers want to make sure the abused does not stand up for him or herself. The abuser wants the abused to believe he or she is the true problem. The abuser wants to control as well as be worshiped.

The abuser wants the abused to beg for their love. They want the abused to be so controlled the abused thinks of nothing but the abuser, as in how to please, how to honor and cherish to prevent from hearing such hurtful words. The abuser wants to control all thoughts so the abused will only trust the abuser.  The abuser may show love and compassion from time to time, they will make it conditional in such a way the abused feel he or she must earn the love.

Emotional abusers do not leave bruises, they leave deep scars. A victim may only reach out for help once. Please listen and respond.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, “do you hear what I hear, ringing through the sky, shepherd boy, do you hear what I hear?”

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. Please catch the wave next week for more information.

 

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The Positive Impact of The Theater

The arts are healing. They carry the power to influence within a safe environment without taking on a permanent change.

Theater allows words and action of situations to come to life for a brief moment. We get to glimpse into another world from the safe distance of our seats. We are not required to engage at the moment, just listen and watch. We are voyagers privy to a peak into lives and worlds beyond our own. We leave pondering what we have witnessed. Some words and action might impact our lives while others are lost in the mental files of our minds.

What does a theater program offer besides the pleasure of attending? Community and school theater programs offer the opportunity to explore emotions, places and lives not our own. Improv companies allow people to step outside their limited thinking to explore responses to touchy subjects and emotions via comedy. Theater offers opportunities to role play situations before they actually happen in our lives to develop a better understand of our own responses. In some ways, role playing can be an agent for change. We can “walk a mile in someone’s shoes” via the theater. We can step outside of our being to experience a life of pain and sorrow, joy and ridiculous antics, within a safety zone without worry we might be labeled.

A shy child can develop social skills from exposure to the theater. The theater enhances reading skills in dyslexic people. Proof of this? Look how many actors and actresses are coming out about their dyslexia. If you have a change, check out Henry Winkler’s life story dealing with his GIFT of dyslexia. Being involved in plays can help an angry child learn control by being involved in theater games to prep the mind. Theater which includes dancing and singing helps children and adults to develop coordination and lung development in asthmatics. Singing, dancing, and acting, known as the triple threat hosts so many benefits. Theater, beyond the stage has unlimited possibilities for positive outcomes  for business, life and relationships.

You do not have to be an actor to enjoy being involved in the theater. Creatives are what make the performers look good, especially if not the best on stage. Costume designers, set creators, lighting specialist, musicians, make-up artist, dance instructors, voice coaches, graphic designers, technical support, and stage managers can make or break a production. There is a place for everyone in the theater arts. You can learn the trades and ways while actively working on a performance.

Quiet artist come alive while exposed to the actors and others behind the scenes. Lots of laughs and tears to be shed. Lessons learned dealing with deadlines and those sorts called directors, are life long skills we all need. The plus in the theater it is short lived and you can move on all the wiser. I cannot begin to list all the benefits of being involved in the theater arts as a game changer in life.

Support the theater arts in your community and schools. Become involved with local productions. Go see professional productions to gain insight into other worlds an cultures as well as explore emotionally difficult situations from a safe distance. Just go and be involved any way you can.

 

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Rethinking Change and Compassion

The world is changing. We are changing. Recent events have caused a stir in our thinking and judgement patterns. It has stirred fear, anger, and restlessness in many. Adult emotions and reactions do influence children. Be mindful of your words around growing minds. Hate is learned. Judgement is influenced by parental reactions.

For a moment, let us think about the refugee children and what might be going through their minds. Life was pleasant. Homes, be they small or large, were safe havens. Life had order and routine at all social and economic levels, pretty much. Then, the terror starts. Gun fire, bombs, death, destruction, and loss of everything which symbolized safety, trust, and security in human lives is gone. In a child’s mind these are game changers, nightmares becoming reality which will forever haunt their daily lives and dreams. Mass hysteria sets in. No one is safe. No place to call home just chaos. Parents and family members are stressed because there are no answers. Life is centered around running for their lives in places they have never been to before. The sounds, sights, and smells of destruction fill their minds, they cannot be avoided. The memories are stored for a life time never erased.

Now, they hear their parents say no one wants them. No one wants to take on the burden to save them or help. There is nowhere to go. No place is safe, not even the woods or random buildings they hide in. Hate and resentment sets in the emotions of their care givers. Anger manifests. Children become second level victims of the rage and fear manifesting in those trying to care for them. No food, water, or shelter, the basic needs which we all seek are not available. Can you see how these terrors will affect the young adult mind as this child grows up?

I wonder if those causing the terror were child victims of war. Where does the hate start? Why would someone feel the need to harm others? Were their parents victims and pass down the hate via bias and judgement? We need to look at what happens to a young mind to cause such acts as adults.

What can we do? How can we help? I do not have the answers. What I ask is that we rethink what is happening and our reactions. How can we empower a nation to fight back instead of fleeing? How can we influence the next generation so they do not hate or lash out with weapons of mass destruction? How do we create change in our own homes so if this happens in our towns and cities? How can we prepare our children to be positive empowered survivors instead of angry hate revengeful adults?

First, let’s develop an understanding of different cultures and beliefs. Let’s learn about them not run from them. In schools in the US now, parents are refusing to allow their children to be exposed to the teaching of world religions. Please know, children do not decide to run to a religion based upon the 10 minute lecture in a middle school class. The attitude of exclusion brings on curiosity more so than the brief exposure. Secondly, let me refer to quotes from one of my favorite books, The Art of War.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“Foreknowledge cannot be gotten from ghosts and spirits, cannot be had by analogy, cannot be found out by calculation. It must be obtained from people, people who know the conditions of the enemy.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Educate yourself. Understand the nature of those you do not understand. Create a space of knowledge before you judge and attack. This not only true in war but in our daily lives. Our workplace, our homes, and in all relationships, know the other party before engaging in battle or, engaging in alliance. Create a hunger of knowledge in your children at a young age so they will be victors instead of victims.

A third thing, create an atmosphere of mindfulness and compassion. This does not mean to be weak but to listen and understand as not to create mass unnecessary chaos. Teach your children  self reliance. Create a means of self-regulation and comforting in various environments and situations.  Help your children as well as yourself to find positive in the least likely of places. We are never guaranteed a stable tomorrow. Life throws curve balls and monkey wrenches when we least expect it. Build a working tool box of life skills and supports when times turn into the unspeakable.

We create the future within ourselves and those around us. Let’s be game changers for our children so their future may become a more positive environment. No, we can never rid the world of all hatred and violence but we can reduce it. We can also prepare our children and ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically to be survivors not victims. It all lies in our actions and reaction. Children are influenced by those around them. Let’s be the positive change for the future of our children, and their world. It just takes a spark, make it positive to set the fire a blaze in their hearts to spread to others.

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Sunny In Seattle and Definitely Not Sleepless

WOW, just WOW! My first visit to Seattle was one of the most amazing ever. First off, it is hilly, looking a bit like San Francisco. I’ve never been there but movies gave me a good idea about street cars and monster hills. And stairs, and more stairs, and more stairs and some I was certain were leading me to a heaven visit after 48 hours of stairs. OH, there is this awesome place called Pike’s Place Market. Was it named after Pike’s Peak? I was thinking after all the stairs on all the levels I had reached Pike’s Peak but discovered even more stairs and more market venders. I truly believe there is no peak to Pike Place Market. What a wondrous goldmine of a place!  There is nothing you cannot find in the market except the mammoth cashew nuts I heard legend of. I must have come at the wrong season. But there are miles of fruits, veggies, fish, places to eat, superhero everything one can imagine a super hero to be on, and stuff, lots and lots of stuff. In speaking of the market, there is one across from Pike’s, the Sanitary Public Market. Not sure I want to know the reason for the naming of that market.

I am a huge fan of The Fish! Philosophy and guess who I found in the market place? The home of this incredible book and way of doing business and life style. YES, huge fish fly across the place as well as smaller ones. It was an amazing site to see folks practicing what they preach. A bonus was that the workers take the time to talk with you all the while they are throwing fish orders and shouting out fun stuff. I felt I was apart of their business sans tossing grouper. I had all but forgotten this was their home place. I am a firm believer and practitioner of The Fish! A SHOUT OUT TO THE PIKE PLACE FISH MARKET guys!! A special hoorah to the guy from Kentucky!

Another great place was the Biscuit Bitch. Yes, I spelled it right. Those folks serve up the best biscuits ever. Don’t avoid it because of the name. Brave it and walk in to a true biscuit wonderland of YUM!! Not the traditional southern type I’m use to but, OMG!! delicious. It is a must go to!

My roots run southern to the core of the earth. Good old southern hospitality runs in the family. My Granny, her sisters and cousins were and are the essences of the old south southern belles. Sugar flowed from their mouths and actions towards others; so not talking about the, “Bless your heart,” negative sort. These ladies were the sweetest of sweet, like their tea. I must admit to y’all that the south has been replaced as the most hospitable place in the USA by Seattle, Washington. Those folks, no matter where we were or situation, those folks are friendly to the core. I hate my home state of Georgia has lost its southern charm. I do whole heartedly believe Seattle has sucked it all up and is truly living it. People were honestly just nice folk.

Ok, now for something else I wasn’t sure about and would not have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it. It was sunny while we were there. Twilight followers, it was certainly a time the Cullens would be nowhere to be found sort of sunny. I understand that was a rare time we experienced as well as the heat wave of high 80s to 90 temps. Was not too bad on us southern folk who were in heaven with the temperature range without the humidity. We even survived without out air conditioning during our stay, though the fan was a nice welcome. Back to my unbelievable part, the sun doesn’t set in Seattle. I was up at 11:45pm and it was just twilight. Yeah, even our long summer nights in the south are not that long. But guess what? I swear the sun was back up at 4am!! (Or there close in time.) I was shocked. Yes, blackout curtains are nice. I could see why people are sleepless in Seattle, there is very little official night-time in the summer.

Flying into Seattle I was gazing out the window to look at the clouds when I spied this unusual site of a mountain rising above the clouds. No, I didn’t drink those mini bottles of fun on the plane but I did a double-check on my cola. My first thought was it was Mount Olympus and Zeus would appear shortly walking among the clouds. My gosh, Mount Saint Helen is larger than huge. I was in awe of this mythical volcano sighting I had only seen in National Geographic. The pictures do not doMidnight in Seatlle this place justice in the massive formation which rises above the clouds. Someday I hope to venture to the foot of this marvel. It was in view everywhere in Seattle. I felt like it was watching over me. Glad it was pleased with my presence in Washington. I would hate to witness it grumble or blow.

Touring the city I felt I was viewing a place designed around IKEA. The buildings, interiors, and even street décor was an IKEA explosion of style. I think the locals were IKEA models if there are such. I now am thinking my southern abode needs a more modern touch.

I could write a novel on Seattle. It was a creative’s paradise of visual delights, unique street musicians, aromas from a market of more variety of eats and treats than imaginable, and wonderful textures. All I can say is if someone needs a creative restorative coach in Seattle, Washington, please give me a call. I think I found my soul’s home.

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Castles Built in the Sky

Do you have big dreams folks have told you were unattainable? Does dreaming the impossible seem impossible? Are your dreams so lofty you need to hop a ride on Pegasus to get there?

Think my original castle was being constructed somewhere near the planet…star…whatever it is now, Pluto. It was such an unheard of dream. It was a concept so foreign yet very needed but no one was quite sure how to interrupt it. I bet creator, Gene Roddenberry,  of Star Trek  series had the same experience in 1966. Can you imagine the idea of flip phone communicators, voice activated computers, and the GPS being introduced in the 60’s? Totally rad science fiction but the reality is, in 2015, some of those way out scifi devices are now old news. Gene Roddenberry’s wild imagination of high-tech gadgets and gizmos are common everyday things we use now. I doubt he thought toddlers would have handheld iPad like devices found on the Enterprise. Dream he did! Maybe his imagination sparked some young watcher to bring those neat devices to us today.

There will always be dream snipers. Their  words and negative reactions can be like an atom bomb exploding a dream into zillions of micro particles becoming space dust. But like in Star Trek and Star Wars, you can create defense shields. There is a learning curve and timing involved. The number one dense is to surround yourself with positive folks who believe in you. During a massive negative lasts you can seek affirmation and encouragement. Yes, use that communicator device to relay your need with a faster than light response! Use symbolic objects to remind you of your dream. My two are lighthouses and starfish.  I also read, The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley almost daily to remind me why my dream is so important.

Remember, your dreams are yours, no one else should take those from you.  My castle dream on Pluto is now in Carrollton, Georgia. Few believed it would ever find roots on the planet Earth. Many moons ago I told a friend of mine that by the age of 50 I wanted to see my dream come true. It is a week from my 51st birthday so I am still within the 5-0 timeline. Thank you, positive believer friends, Loren Eiseley, lighthouse, and starfish for being my deflector shield all these years.

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