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Big Changes

YES! Creative Tidal Wave lives and is taking some might big turns and swirls. I have been raising the bar in life coaching the past few months. Creative Tidal Wave is all about you, bringing creative and life altering techniques from a wide variety of successful sources. As we all know, one size does not fit all. Lots of great new innovative resources from global sources.

I am very excited about adding Points of You to my business. It is unexpected but precise… don’t you just love that? I bring to the table games that will challenge the way you think about everything, including yourself. You know it is good if GOOGLE, INTEL, Cirque, IKEA, and L’Oreal are using it in their business. Some innovative companies are using it as an interview tool as well. Yes, a game can be a tool to explore team building, problem solving, leadership skills… the possibilities are endless. So what kind of game can be used in businesses, life coaching, counseling, schools, and at home? It is a game based up photo therapy with intriguing words, questions, quotes, and stories. You will laugh, ponder, explore, and learn more about yourself and others playing with you. More on the Coaching Game and Punctum in another blog moment.

Due to seeing common trends in clients and disturbing events happening in the US almost weekly, I decided to branch out to provide for veterans, first responders, and government workers who have PTSD and other trauma related challenges. The Green Cross and the Mental Health groups have created Mental Health First Aid. This provides responders to come in and help during crisis, work with people you may know and  suspect have a suicidal risks, and other mental health issues. A First Responder for Mental Health First Aid can refer clients and families to supports and other community groups to help. By September I will be a certified Trauma Professional.

Now for some really great events. I will present a workshop for the 25th  Georgia Mental Health Consumers Conference in St. Simons Island, GA on using photo therapy with clients to encourage communication. Earlier in August, I will present a creative workshop at the Burson Center in Carrollton, GA on stress management. Lots of great things to come as well.

Creative Tidal Wave is a positive forward moving life coaching service. Whatever it takes, it will happen to move you from the deepest oubliette to the dream castle in the sky. Do not let stinking thinking and trauma stop you from living the life you desire. Catch the wave, and ride it to new heights and wonders you dream of. CTW makes life flow.facebook_May_2015f

 

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The Star, the Star, shining in the night

starfish story picDecember is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month. Make a difference in 2016. Every life matters. You matter. Get help or seek help for another. Stop the cycle. Make a difference to that ONE!

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Do You See What I See?

December is Emotional Abuse Awareness Month for Creative Tidal Wave. I feel many are not well-educated in identifying and finding help. The song, “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” spoke to me as a good theme for the series. In the first part of the lyrics, “Said the night wind to the little lamb, do you see what I see?,” triggered within me, do we really see the outward signs of emotional abuse?

Physical abuse and neglect often have very visual signs which make them easier to report and recognize. Emotional abuse is not so easy to see the signs and symptoms plus victims learn to hide them. According to some studies, emotional abuse is more harmful than physical abuse. Physical abuse is not a daily event like emotional abuse. Belittling, bullying, shaming, intimidation, threatening, as well as constant criticism can cause outward behavior changes in those suffering from emotional abuse, both now or in their past.

Behavioral signs which send up red flags that someone has been abused:

Depression

Anxiety

Post Traumatic Disorder

Drastic behavior changes from outgoing to being quiet, withdrawn and shy

In some cases, victims will have a drastic shift to abusing others.

In children you might see these outward signs:

Lack of emotional attachment

Low cognitive or educational ability

Poor social skills

Depression

Trust issues

 

Doubt and fear move in. A victim often apologizes for everything because the emotional abuse has made the person feel as if they can do nothing right. Stripping a person of their pride and self-worth causes significant damage to their ego and ability to function in society. Victims often fall prey to other emotional abusers due to their behavior. Abusers seek out others which they can control and manipulate which causes people who have been past victims to often be re-victimized. Often victims become “super pleasers” to reduce the emotional pain abusers cause. This sets them up once again to fall prey to those who seek out pleasers to empower them and abuse their helpful nature.

Look around your office, classroom, Sunday School class, or among family and friends.  Has someone’s behavior changed? Do you see a significant other overpowering or constantly talking down to their partner or child? Do you see someone shying away from social contact where before they might have been the “life of the party?” It might feel awkward but approach someone you might suspect is being abused to offer help or at least acknowledge you are seeing some signs the person is in distress. The person will most likely deny or offer up an excuse but please know, you have planted a mental seed of awareness that others are noticing. Sometimes it is just as simple as someone asking if you are okay which causes more thoughts of getting help in the future. Be that one who changes a life. Caring matters.

Just a side note in regard to current events happening in

whispers in the wind collage2015:

With all the horrible events of late, I wonder how many of the violent people creating these acts were emotionally or physically abused as children or in relationships? Does their rage stem from past horrors done to them? If someone, anyone… a teacher, friend, coach, or even a family doctor noticed and said something to stop the abuse, would they have committed the acts we are seeing now, happen?  Can a random act of kindness or concern change the future of a killer? Not sure we could actually track the results but I feel sure one act can change a person. I would like to be that one who stopped someone from becoming a monster because they endured torment to create the hate and need to do such horrible acts. As a teacher, I have seen lives turned around due to someone confronting and helping a child seek help. Turn fear into compassion, do not allow it to continue to fester and grown into hatred and violence.

Next week, “Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, do you hear what I hear?” What does emotional abuse sound like? Check back in next week to find out the answer.

 

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The Silent Killer

The month of December will focus on understanding and identifying emotional abuse. Many suicides and preventable health issues are manifested from people being abused. I see everyday, people who struggle with ADHD/ADD and/or dyslexia, being victims of emotional abuse.  Such challenges seem to be magnets for emotional abusers. I am not certain why but there is definitely a trend, or at least in my neck of the woods.

Some of the ways abusers use are guilt trips, shaming, and bullying. The main focus is to belittle and strip the abused of their empowerment and self worth. Many dyslexics and ADHD/ADD sorts are pleasers. They enjoy helping others out and keeping a balance in the world. This also keeps balance in their world of chaos. Emotional abusers take advantage of the opportunity for their own personal follies and gain.

Each week I will hopefully enlighten you on emotional abuse. Hopefully, you are not a victim. If so, I hope to offer information on how to get help. If you know of an emotional abuser, my wish is that you will learn ways to avoid being a victim as well as ways to rise above. Over the years I have witnessed many talented and brilliant people who’s spirit and self worth were devalued and crushed due to emotional abuse. Some took their relief seeking to an extreme while others are almost nonfunctional. This is preventable. We need to educate ourselves on recognizing and preventing this silent killer.

It just takes one person to stand up and fight. It takes just one person to save a life. Every life is valuable, none should suffer in silence. Be that one voice to speak out. Be that survivor. Be the one to come to someone’s rescue. Make a difference.

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The Positive Impact of The Theater

The arts are healing. They carry the power to influence within a safe environment without taking on a permanent change.

Theater allows words and action of situations to come to life for a brief moment. We get to glimpse into another world from the safe distance of our seats. We are not required to engage at the moment, just listen and watch. We are voyagers privy to a peak into lives and worlds beyond our own. We leave pondering what we have witnessed. Some words and action might impact our lives while others are lost in the mental files of our minds.

What does a theater program offer besides the pleasure of attending? Community and school theater programs offer the opportunity to explore emotions, places and lives not our own. Improv companies allow people to step outside their limited thinking to explore responses to touchy subjects and emotions via comedy. Theater offers opportunities to role play situations before they actually happen in our lives to develop a better understand of our own responses. In some ways, role playing can be an agent for change. We can “walk a mile in someone’s shoes” via the theater. We can step outside of our being to experience a life of pain and sorrow, joy and ridiculous antics, within a safety zone without worry we might be labeled.

A shy child can develop social skills from exposure to the theater. The theater enhances reading skills in dyslexic people. Proof of this? Look how many actors and actresses are coming out about their dyslexia. If you have a change, check out Henry Winkler’s life story dealing with his GIFT of dyslexia. Being involved in plays can help an angry child learn control by being involved in theater games to prep the mind. Theater which includes dancing and singing helps children and adults to develop coordination and lung development in asthmatics. Singing, dancing, and acting, known as the triple threat hosts so many benefits. Theater, beyond the stage has unlimited possibilities for positive outcomes  for business, life and relationships.

You do not have to be an actor to enjoy being involved in the theater. Creatives are what make the performers look good, especially if not the best on stage. Costume designers, set creators, lighting specialist, musicians, make-up artist, dance instructors, voice coaches, graphic designers, technical support, and stage managers can make or break a production. There is a place for everyone in the theater arts. You can learn the trades and ways while actively working on a performance.

Quiet artist come alive while exposed to the actors and others behind the scenes. Lots of laughs and tears to be shed. Lessons learned dealing with deadlines and those sorts called directors, are life long skills we all need. The plus in the theater it is short lived and you can move on all the wiser. I cannot begin to list all the benefits of being involved in the theater arts as a game changer in life.

Support the theater arts in your community and schools. Become involved with local productions. Go see professional productions to gain insight into other worlds an cultures as well as explore emotionally difficult situations from a safe distance. Just go and be involved any way you can.

 

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Rethinking Change and Compassion

The world is changing. We are changing. Recent events have caused a stir in our thinking and judgement patterns. It has stirred fear, anger, and restlessness in many. Adult emotions and reactions do influence children. Be mindful of your words around growing minds. Hate is learned. Judgement is influenced by parental reactions.

For a moment, let us think about the refugee children and what might be going through their minds. Life was pleasant. Homes, be they small or large, were safe havens. Life had order and routine at all social and economic levels, pretty much. Then, the terror starts. Gun fire, bombs, death, destruction, and loss of everything which symbolized safety, trust, and security in human lives is gone. In a child’s mind these are game changers, nightmares becoming reality which will forever haunt their daily lives and dreams. Mass hysteria sets in. No one is safe. No place to call home just chaos. Parents and family members are stressed because there are no answers. Life is centered around running for their lives in places they have never been to before. The sounds, sights, and smells of destruction fill their minds, they cannot be avoided. The memories are stored for a life time never erased.

Now, they hear their parents say no one wants them. No one wants to take on the burden to save them or help. There is nowhere to go. No place is safe, not even the woods or random buildings they hide in. Hate and resentment sets in the emotions of their care givers. Anger manifests. Children become second level victims of the rage and fear manifesting in those trying to care for them. No food, water, or shelter, the basic needs which we all seek are not available. Can you see how these terrors will affect the young adult mind as this child grows up?

I wonder if those causing the terror were child victims of war. Where does the hate start? Why would someone feel the need to harm others? Were their parents victims and pass down the hate via bias and judgement? We need to look at what happens to a young mind to cause such acts as adults.

What can we do? How can we help? I do not have the answers. What I ask is that we rethink what is happening and our reactions. How can we empower a nation to fight back instead of fleeing? How can we influence the next generation so they do not hate or lash out with weapons of mass destruction? How do we create change in our own homes so if this happens in our towns and cities? How can we prepare our children to be positive empowered survivors instead of angry hate revengeful adults?

First, let’s develop an understanding of different cultures and beliefs. Let’s learn about them not run from them. In schools in the US now, parents are refusing to allow their children to be exposed to the teaching of world religions. Please know, children do not decide to run to a religion based upon the 10 minute lecture in a middle school class. The attitude of exclusion brings on curiosity more so than the brief exposure. Secondly, let me refer to quotes from one of my favorite books, The Art of War.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

“Foreknowledge cannot be gotten from ghosts and spirits, cannot be had by analogy, cannot be found out by calculation. It must be obtained from people, people who know the conditions of the enemy.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Educate yourself. Understand the nature of those you do not understand. Create a space of knowledge before you judge and attack. This not only true in war but in our daily lives. Our workplace, our homes, and in all relationships, know the other party before engaging in battle or, engaging in alliance. Create a hunger of knowledge in your children at a young age so they will be victors instead of victims.

A third thing, create an atmosphere of mindfulness and compassion. This does not mean to be weak but to listen and understand as not to create mass unnecessary chaos. Teach your children  self reliance. Create a means of self-regulation and comforting in various environments and situations.  Help your children as well as yourself to find positive in the least likely of places. We are never guaranteed a stable tomorrow. Life throws curve balls and monkey wrenches when we least expect it. Build a working tool box of life skills and supports when times turn into the unspeakable.

We create the future within ourselves and those around us. Let’s be game changers for our children so their future may become a more positive environment. No, we can never rid the world of all hatred and violence but we can reduce it. We can also prepare our children and ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically to be survivors not victims. It all lies in our actions and reaction. Children are influenced by those around them. Let’s be the positive change for the future of our children, and their world. It just takes a spark, make it positive to set the fire a blaze in their hearts to spread to others.

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Surviving Blonde Moments

Disclaimer on the topic: I can say this because back in the day before grey hair and this weird dark shade that crept in around the age of 40, I was legally blonde. Some folks who knew me might totally agree on multiple levels about my blonde behavior as well. No insult to those who are blonde but we all know the altar meaning I am referring to.

It wasn’t a pretty morning. Actually, outside it was the most beautiful fall morning ever, but inside life was not so much fun. The dog, bless her cute little heart, needed a bio break at 4AM. Somehow between the back door and her “favorite spot,” she lost her collar. I swear I was watching her the entire time, still cannot figure how it disappeared.  Ever put clothes in the wash the night before that you needed in the morning and forget to put them in the dryer? Yep, change of plans on the outfit of the day. My breakfast of champions, morning PB & J (peanut butter and jelly sandwich) was not to be, no bread. I forgot to get it on the list the night before that I lost on the way to the store. Keys? Where are my keys? I was certain I put them… oh, heck. On the way to work I made a stop at Wally World. Walked inside to totally forget why I was there. Took the tour to trigger what it was I needed which took way too long. Got to work. Unloaded my techie stuff to find I left all the power plugs at home. Right now, I am feeling a few of those grey hairs sprouting. My brain totally shut down from about 9PM last night until about 11AM this morning. At 10:50, I decided I had had enough.

How to  survived those ditsy, brain fog days? Well, I should have applied these things at first notice of the blonde invasion but I am only normal and let those days sometimes get the best of me far too long.

Blonde Invasion Defense:

  1. MUSIC!! Turn on your favorite upbeat tunes to get your brain moving out of slow elevator music mode. Today’s menu for me: Pompeii by Bad Blood, Breathe of Life by Florence + the Machine, Dark Horse by Katy Perry, for starters.
  2. Hand Fidgets: Stress balls and flying frogs! Squeezing those squishy stress releasers really helps. Flying frogs, well, those are these rubbery creatures which are for shooting like rubber bands but do not go as far. I wrap them around my finger and sometimes shoot them at various things in the office when no one is looking.
  3. Fiber optics lamp toy. Best $1 find ever! This small lamp has hundreds of tiny fibers with green lights shining out. It is fun to twirl it to see if I can make it look like shapes. With my office fan going it dances about my desk which makes me happy.

These were my choices today but I have quite the list to choose from. Within about 10 minutes my mind was back out of the fog zone. I was busy cranking out meaningful work with fewer mistakes and mishaps due to the black hole of nothingness that had invaded earlier. Sometimes, it is just that simple. Playing with odd things and music helps kick-start the brain. If you bosses out there are reading this, please know employees need access to such things when stressed and out-of-sorts. You will find employees far more productive if they have go-to things to help gather their senses back. Parents, kids need these things while doing homework, too. And for anyone out there having a blonde zone day, put that phone to good use, crank up some tunes! Find a paperclip or anything you can move around in your hands until you can raid the store for hand fidgets. Oh by the way, the birthday party trinket kits are the best. Small plastic Slinkys are wonderful! Check out that section for a huge wonderland of hand fidgets.

Find your focus, get out of the fog, and get your creative productive groove back on!

 

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Let’s PLAY!!

Promoting Lively Adventure for Yourself!! Isn’t that what kids do? Play is active. It is adventuresome in nature because the results are often a surprise and challenging. Negative life experiences have often caused us as adults to lose the wild abandonment of wonder and curiosity to escape us. Best of all, play is all about you!

Okay, I am hearing some humbugs out there. No, you are never too old to play. No, it doesn’t require fancy toys or a playground. No, you won’t break bones or have an ER visit if you remember safety rules. No… well, yeah, you might look silly, so what? Is being silly bad? Is laughing until your sides ache harmful? Oh, there are health benefits for play such as cardio and core strengthening, if you laugh long and hard enough.

Why play? let me count the ways…

  • It reduces stress. As adults, excessive stress is deadly. Why not find a fun way to kill stress not you?
  • Brain stimulation is the result of play. Ever get stuck on a problem at work? Try playing to kick-start it up again. Nothing wrong with pulling out the old yo-yo or the hidden stash of Lego’s for a few minutes of fun.
  • Boosting creativity leads to success in business and life. If you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results. Get your play on and discover new ways to tackle old boring habits. Scoring baskets with all the old memos in the corner trash can could lead to a serious break though you have struggled with. Oh, it s important not to hit the boss in the head while doing so. That could be counter productive if he doesn’t have a sense of humor.
  • Improves relationships. Group play can bring a team together on work projects. Playing with friends or family can open blocked communication pathways.  This will date me a bit but taking all the video cases from various classrooms and the.. library (no, you really did not read that) creating a domino trail takes team work. Watching the fruits of our labor travel round the classroom and down the hallway was inspiring as well as bonding. Just like when I was a kid, we had to have a lookout. During my early days of teaching, school administrators were not so versed in the act of play among teaching staff as a good thing.
  • Promotes youthful feelings and energy. It is true, one is only as old as they feel. Well, at 51 years old, I have days I am feeling 100+. The old wives tale about joints aching on rainy days is no longer a wives tale but a fact for me. On those cold rainy days it is helpful to explore the crayons and color pages to escape reality. I revisited playing jacks the other day. I really suck at it but was once quite good. After a few moments chasing the ball and grabbing air, I managed to get my grab and go reflex back into the swing. I forgot the aches and pains because I was laughing so much.
  • Heals emotional wounds. As adults, we carry lots of emotional baggage with us. Playing helps unpack those emotions with laughter and fun in some cases. Jumping in rain puddles is one of my healing childlike past times. Got those yellow rain shoes splashing in some of the biggest puddles I can find. Do I get messy and wet?  Yes, I do. Sometimes messy and wet is fun. I loved it as a child, why can’t I love it as an adult? I can jump in bigger and deeper puddles now that I am taller.

Time to get my play on! Where are those bubbles? Yes, I think it is a bubble blowing kind of day today.

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Singing the Blues

I got up this morning.

Couldn’t jump out of bed.

Felt like a ten ton weight, upon my head.                              old phone 076

The doggies all happy.

And, I’m feeling crappy.

I just need one more,

weekend at the shore.

How to fight the Monday morning blues? Do something creative. This morning, I celebrated the blues. Listened to my beloved “I’m Blue,” by Eiffel 65. Spent a few minutes playing tug-of-war with the waggle tailed mafia. Then made me some, horchata, my new favorite drink. While grabbing the morning nutrition, I messaged my power crew buddies and sent out client positives. To up the fun level because it was not where I needed it to be, I listened to the all time wonderful and motivating, Blue Man Group. By the third song I was ready to tackle my day.

Sometimes you must reprogram the brain to find your happy place. I did fail to mention it was pouring rain and overcast outside. I had a Santa Claus list of things to do while my text message kept pinging sending me more to add by the minute. It could have been a disastrous day but I kept adding powerful mood lifters in a rapid fire until I got my brain in the right mindset. Oh, and I wrote a silly little poem to boot. I know what works for me. Staying in tune to how my body reacts to stimulus helps me add music, power friends, visuals, and sometimes physical activities to my sensory diet of motivators.

This is an activity a life coach can help you create. It isn’t a difficult task but it takes some exploring to find those things which are constant pep-ups. Everyone’s list is different. If you want to try the Creative Tidal Wave method to developing your sensory diet for success, please contact me. I would be glad to help you create yours as well as develop a back up emergency kit as well.

Now, it’s back to dancing my Monday away to Nickelback.

 

 

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To INFINITY and beyond!!

Got to love Buzz Lightyear. But this time I am not talking Toy Story, I am talking focus. I know your mind races on an infinite journey to nowhere yet everywhere. Tapping back into my Shark Like Focus work again to give solutions for those moments when you cannot find your focus. Here is a simple solution to help you get your thoughts collected from the vast chaos flowing in your mind. It can be done in a variety of ways. You can even get creative after a while developing your own personal methods, the possibilities are endless or should I say… infinite. So, what is this magic which can help you focus?

Infinity sign      Yes, it is just that simple lazy 8 looking symbol. Ok, so I see puzzled faces. Drawing the infinity sign or a lazy 8 helps trigger balance in the brain by engaging both the left and right brain. There actually is a lot of information and scientific stuff on this but you can “Google that” if you want to know the in-depth details. You can air draw this sign. You can be extra creative and get your whole body in motion to do figure 8s. The best is when you are in a boring meeting and need a focus brain boost. You can use your fingers to draw it on the table top or you can get your pen and paper out and doodle them everywhere. Retracing the sign over and over has a meditative like effect on the brain. It is rather magic.

There is a certain path you need to follow to enhance the power of the 8. in the diagram below you see an X, that is the starting point. Move your pen, finger or whatever you choice to use, up towards the left to complete the first loop. Follow the arrow pattern to complete your first ….TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!

infinity how to

 

 

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